April - Serve the Babies #davidsmission

We are entering our 4th month of service.  What an incredible year this has been thus far.  I never imaged the variety of service opportunities that our family would be introduced to.  Many of the services we have done are ones that we plan to make traditions in our home.  Not only have these opportunities blessed those who we serve but it is bringing a myriad of people together and opening their lives to connections they never thought about before.

This next month is one I have been anxiously awaiting, as it has very personal meaning and is directly tied to our son, David.  In the hospital were we delivered there is a unique group of parent volunteers called the Parent to Parent group.  Its members consist of parents who have lost little ones at birth and desire to give back to help support those who must face the same tragedy.  After David passed a group member came in and spent time with us taking pictures, making casts of his hands and feet, helping us dress him, and giving us cherished keepsakes that tied our memories to something good.  These keepsakes still bring back fond memories of service given, right along the memories of the time we had with our baby.  I always intended to donate these same services back some day.

My favorite connection keepsake, a gold ring worn by David.  

If you ever see me wearing this necklace you know I am needing connection to him that day.

Although I had made an outfit and quilt for David to be buried in, many parents do not have the foreknowledge that their child will be passing.  It is from donations of caring individuals that they are able to cloth their child and cuddle them, giving them the dignity they deserve.  This month I, along with anyone who cares to join me, will be making Angel Gowns and blankets for parents and babies in need.

Angel gowns

You need not be a seamstress to contribute to this service.  Fabric could be donated and I will do the sewing. 😊  Another beautiful way to contribute:  An unused wedding dress can be repurposed into many, many angel gowns.  Here are some other ways to Serve the Babies this month:

~Blankets for the cribs in the NICU

~Offer photography services to parents who lost a baby

~Clean the headstones of babies in local cemetery

~Put flowers on the graves of babies

~Ask if your local NICU has a cuddle program, where you go in an cuddle babies in need

~Serve a meal at the Ronald McDonald house

March - Serve the Family #davidsmission

Two months into our mission.  What have these first few months shown us? First, there are so many service opportunities out there that we never really thought of before.  A bit of searching can bring more opportunities that  you could ever fulfill. That's okay.  We don't need to do it all.  Even small things, even done once, can make a big difference.  Second, we see that there are some things that are great fits for our family that we could do again and again, and there are some things that were great to do once but probably won't be revisited.  Again, that's okay.  The service was still given and the audience was still blessed.  Third, I had to think through my reasons behind posted the activities on social media.  Am I advertising our 'great deeds' for all the world to see? I really struggled with this. I struggle to post service activities because I don't want it to take away from the spirit of what was actually done. What I learned about this thought exercise was this:  As I mentioned earlier, there are many opportunities of service that I never thought about before.  I want to show others what is available to them. Then, if something pricks their heart, they too can now reach out in a way they never thought about before.  I want to show others the joy of the receivers.

With that, I want to introduce you to this next theme: Serve the family.  What does that mean to you?  Don't we already do that each and every day, especially as parents?  I am reminded of a talk given in general conference recently were a dear sister did great service by helping those around the world.  As she was driving home from her latest service opportunity the spirit spoke to her and said "Now go and serve your neighbor."  In essence, the Lord was guiding her to those closest to her and letting here know we don't have to reach far beyond our scope of influence to make our service meaningful.  So this month we are pulling it in, we are focusing on the core unit in our lives.

Family means something different to each of us.  You may be single, you may be a young married couple or empty nesters, or you may have 10 children and lots of cousins. Family may mean those 'extra' children that come into your home, those friends who eat dinner at your table numerous times a week.  Family is really those people who are in your sphere of love on a consistent basis.

This months invitation is two fold.  Let me give one bit of background before I explain. 

Five years ago, at the end of February, I lost a cousin to a tragic adventure activity.  She had only been married two weeks and her life was cut short.  As I attended her funeral I was reminded of two things about her. First, that she had a great love of doing humanitarian work.  Her life, outside of living adventurously, was filled with giving of herself.  Second, there were many people at her funeral from a variety of walks of life.  She made everyone 'family'.  This month as we serve the family, we are striving to emulate and honor her through serving and loving as she did.

The invitations: 1. Find a way to honor a family member that has past, by doing an act of service in their name. 2. Find ways to serve your earthly family in different ways than  you usually do.

Some ideas for you to ponder on this month:

• Plan an event that brings your family together. (We are throwing our Dad/Grandpa a 90th bday party!)
• Do a surprise house cleaning for a sibling
• Mend a relationship
• Invite a family to dinner and game night
• Send snail mail letters to family that lives far away
• Complete a project for a family member that you have been putting off (We will be painting our youngest sons room)
• On March 17th, let someone know that you are "Lucky to have them" in your life
• Leave treats on doorsteps for your neighborhood family (Something my cousin Amber loved to do)
• Be a peacemaker in your home this month.  Seek to show more love.

I am excited about this month, to find ways each day to serve those I love most in the way that Christ would want me to serve them.

February - Serve the Elderly #davidsmission

Aging is a reality for every person on earth. From the moment we are born, we began to "grow old." Different cultures have varying attitudes and perspectives on the elderly in their countries. In China there is an actual law that allows elderly parents to sue their children if they feel they are not getting the emotional and financial respect due to them. Employees are also required to give time off to their workers, allowing them time to visit their parents.

In Japan, appreciation for elderly in ingrained into the family, making this one of the kindest places for seniors.  Many families often have multiple generations living under one roof, attributing much to the happiness and longevity of the elderly that blossoms from these strong bonds. 

Unfortunately in America seniors are often the subject of prejudice, stereotyping, and the subject of jokes, with many elderly feeling a great lack of respect from the young people.  More often than not our elderly are placed in assisted living homes, a practice that is not common in other cultures.  (please to take this as judgement on my part for I know that everyone's situation is unique and, I'm sure, is prayerfully considered).

As we have had some recent happenings in our family with an aging parent I have had cause to pause and reflect on my own views of aging in our society. The older I personally become the greater love I have for those who have forged the path ahead of me.  I see the wisdom gained from their life experiences and seek to learn from what they can impart.  I see what  a great blessing it is to have my father-in-law in our home, to have our children help with his care and see that we make sacrifices for those we love because they deserve it.  What I sense the elderly would like us to know is that they want to be included, but don't want to feel like a burden; they know when you are doing it out of obligation and not love.  They want to feel valued and useful. They want to spend time with us and for us to not put a time limit and rush out of there. They value youthful interactions, along with time with their 'old pals.' 

In light of all that I've been pondering, we are choosing the theme of 'Serve the Elderly' for the month of February.  We are still scheduling the events that we will sponsor this month, so look for details to come.  We are looking at planning an afternoon of game playing, with youth visiting a retirement home.  We are also wanting to hold a night of musical entertainment at the same location. (Music friends, start preparing some old time favorites 😊).  A few other events will include some junior high students making birthday cards to be given to the elderly, along with elementary students making spring-time pictures to decorate the doors of the elderly. 

 I would love to hear other ideas that you might have for this month.  This is a service that spans the distance and is available to all ages.  Here are some ideas for you to ponder:

• Help give caregivers a break by staying with their elderly parents to they can go out
• Volunteer to deliver meals with meals on wheels
• Go have lunch with an elderly neighbor
• Listen to their stories, write them down, input them on FamilySearch
• Paint their nails for them
• Send them a card in the mail
• Take flowers to the seniors in your community and sit down for a visit
• Read to them
• Find a housekeeping project you can help them with

I hope this month stretches us all to be more respectful, more full of love, and united in created strong bonds with those in their twilight years.

10 Changes: A Year in Review

I'm sure I am just like the majority of you.  The new year brings a time of reflection. Did I accomplish what I set off to accomplish this year?  What changes do I want to make for the coming year? As I reflect I wanted to share 10 things that I did this year. Each of these have taught me how to take accountability for my health and given me the hope I needed regarding answers I personally needed.

• I Changed My Thought Process
• This is huge!  (For anyone who doesn't know about thought work, I highly recommend to study it for yourself.)  I no longer see myself as a victim of circumstance.  I see the influence of positive energy.  I know that I will be accountable to God for both my thoughts and my actions, so what am I doing with both? 
• I Started Bringing Natural Products Into My Home
• The more I've learned about health, to more I realize how everything interacts.  We have need of not just changing what we eat, but what we put on our body.  After all, what we put on also goes in through the skin, through our airway, etc.  It is not cheap, but it is worth it.  I'm taking one product at a time, I started with medicine, and I'm evaluating what the total influence of that product is for me and my family.  My next step is cleaning products and makeup.
• I Buy Organic Produce
• If we are worried about what we put on our body and into our body then we should also be worried about what our food in grown in and what is brought into their "bodies".  I've come to see a taste difference in the produce, including organic meat when I can purchase it.  
• I've Started Practicing Self-care
• Take time for yourself!  You deserve it, and it is not something that is important only after everything else on the to-do list is done.
• I've Learned that Mental Health is as Important as Physical
• I do mental checks often.  Why am I feeling down?  Why am I feeling impatient and irritable?  In other words, I talk to myself often because I know it's good for me.
• I've Learned to Listen to my Body
• When my body it telling me to slow down, I slow down.  Whether the project is done or not.  If that means I take my sheets off the bed but need to lay down for half hour before I put clean ones on, then that's what I do.  I honor my body and it's need instead of powering ahead just to get through.
• I've Placed a Major Focus on Spiritual Health
• I prioritize my time in the scriptures and time in prayer above all else in my day.  I have set out a pattern of Weekly Temple services as well.  That is what my time on this earth is meant for.  It is not a sacrifice.
• I Have Sought out Great Products
• I've started searching for great quality products that will help me reach the desired health I long for.  With each produce I research, I take it to the Lord for confirmation to make sure it is right for my body.  Two companies I began using are Juuva and Young Living.  Yes, there are other good products out there, but these are what's right for my family.
• I Started to Share my Story
• What good is all this information if I keep it to myself? 😂 I began writing a book this past year and know it is what my mission is at this time.
• Above All, I Trusted God
• I trusted that this was exactly the journey I needed to take to get me where I need to be.  It's been a good journey. Here's to continuing the learning this year....

January - Serve the Homeless #davidsmission

January.

The beginning of a new year.  A time when we often reflect on the year previous and look for ways that we desire to do be, to be better in the year to come.  A number of years ago I changed the way I approach the new year, letting go of the traditional goal setting that often was abandoned by the end of the first month.  I, instead, started choosing a one word focus, one that deepened the meaning of the changes I hoped to make.  Last year I focused on a concept: Come to better know Jesus Christ.  Through this, all my "goals" focused on ways to know Him better.  I asked myself questions such as, How is my physical health getting in the way with my relationship with Him?  What ways can I purify physical self to be more receptive of that relationship?  I love the opportunity this affords me to give a more eternal focus to the changes I hope to make for the year.

This year I will also have a concept: Minister as the Savior would minister.

To begin that goal, I decided that the first month of David's mission we would Serve the Homeless. I thought it would be best to start where I feel my weakness lies.  I will be the first to admit that I have often been judgmental and lacking in understanding for these individuals.  I would pass them as I traveled around Temple square, doing my best to avoid eye contact. I would see them with signs, begging for money on the side of the road, while just down the block was a help-wanted sign.  My thoughts were often not thoughts of compassion, seeing as Christ sees them.  As I have recognized this in myself, I have tried to do better these last few years to have a more Christlike heart toward all of God's children.  Why did I avoid eye contact?  Was is discomfort? Fear? Not knowing what I could do?  A bit of yes to all of these.  I hope in this month we all can bridge the gap between that fear, that discomfort, that unknown and find a way that we can stretch ourselves to Love in a deeper way.

My daughter is involved with the handbell choir in her school.  Each year they take a tour of different locations and perform throughout Salt Lake city.  As this is one of my favorite Christmas activities, I always choose to chaperone this tour.  Last year the choir teacher took them to a location we had never been to before: the Salt Lake County library.  For anyone who has never been here before, this public space is filled with homeless individuals seeking a quiet place to rest, to get warmth, and to find a place of normalcy where they can continue to learn.  As our group performed their music, the homeless listened.  It struck me then that the homeless have lost more than their homes.  Many have lost meaningful connections and the feeling of love from their fellow men.  They have lost opportunities, such as this, where their hearts can be filled with music, where they can enjoy simple entertainment and not have think about the cares of the world.  Their daily life is about survival. They don't often get a break from that burden.  I was so, so grateful that this young group of musicians were able to come and give them back something they had lost.

What can we do?  More than we think.

"If we find we cannot help others, the least we can do is desist from harming them" - Dalai Lama

We can change our thought work, the way we think about these individuals.  We can ask the Lord to help us see with an understanding heart, to know we don't see the whole picture to understand why they are in the situation they are in.  We can take the time to make eye contact, to smile at them and ask them their names and a bit about themselves.  Shake their hands, place a comforting hand on their shoulders, send forth love through your words.

Our activity this month will be collecting food and making up sack lunches for the preschool children in the family Homeless shelter in Midvale, Utah.  For any locals who would like to contribute time or food to this event, please follow this link: Serve

There will also be a donate button on my author Facebook page for those who live out of state and want to contribute monetarily.  Marissa Allen. Look for the Shop-now button. I am also still pondering and researching the idea of having an entertainment night at the Salt Lake County Library near the end of the month. (please leave a message if you would be interested in performing).  

There is so much more we can do, if we just get creative.  Here are some ideas that you could ponder and pray about with your family to find a way you can help in your area:

• Gather a group to serve dinner at your local soup kitchen
• Donate bedding, hygiene supplies, coats, etc (lists can often be found online for your local shelter)
• Volunteer at the shelter - do crafts with the youth, work the front desk, help with laundry
• Make up "care-kits" that you keep in your car and hand out throughout the month.
• For hairstylist:  offer free haircuts
• For dog groomers:  offer to bath and groom their pets
• For anyone: Show respect.  They are God's children, too.  
• Pray for them.  Any time a pass a panhandler in my car and don't have cash, I send a prayer heavenward in their behalf.

I would love to hear what you choose to do this month!  Don't forget to include #davidsmission.  If you would like to keep your service quiet, that is understandable; I would still love a personal message, and possibly pictures, to include in my personal records.

Happy New Year to you all!  May this year be filled with good things, especially for those we reach out to.

David's Mission

It was January, 18 years ago, that we received the sad news.  During a routine ultrasound we learned that our second child, a son, would not live once he was born.  Due to both of his kidney's being filled with cysts, his little body was not compatible with life outside the womb.  That is devastating news for a parent to hear.  In that very moment you grieve the life that you have already lost, the life you thought you would have had with this precious child.

That grieving continues, not just after the initial incident passes, but at various moments over the years.  Milestone events that should have been joyous moments, such as the first day of school, become times of reflections and times of pulled heartstrings.  In our religion there are many milestone moments that we celebrate: the choice to be baptized; entering into the youth program, and receiving the priesthood for boys; and, as a young adult, the choice to fulfill a full time mission, to name a few.

That final example is the milestone facing us this year.  David would have been 18 years old this coming May.  At 18 years for boys, and 19 years for girls, our young people have the opportunity to put their world on hold and serve the Lord for a time.  Why do they do this?  It is not to gain numbers in our congregations, it is not to inform others that their religious choices are 'wrong', and it's not to make their resumes look good.  Our members love the Lord with all their hearts.  They know the Savior, and they know the joy that knowledge has brought them. It is all about LOVE.  Our young people choose to sacrifice those few years of their life by taking that message of love to others, in the hopes that others might come to know the Savior personally as well, that they might find the joy and peace that we feel in our lives when we have the Savior in our hearts.

Not long after David's short stay on earth, I knew I wanted to honor this future milestone for him in some way.  Now that this time has arrived for us, I want to introduce to you our family's plan. David is still very much a part of our family and very near to us often. He is currently fulfilling a mission for the Lord, just in a different way than we would have imagined. He is bringing hearts to the Savior in his own way and we want to honor David's mission on the other side by fulfilling the mission for him here that he would have served had he lived.  We could not think of a better way to honor David than to serve and love God's children.  We invite you to join us on this mission, a mission to bring hearts to the Savior.  It is our hope that this influence to spread across the world.

Each month, for the next year, we will be picking a theme of service.  Along with that theme, we will choose one larger scale service activity to do.  For example, the theme for one month could be "Serve the Homeless", with an activity being the making and serving of lunch to the homeless one afternoon.  But that is not all.  Throughout that month we would turn our hearts to serving that group in other ways we see needed, such as stopping to talk to someone in that situation, looking them in the eyes and really paying attention to them, and offering them love.

It's hard to express in words the vision of this and the feelings of the heart that lead us here. What I do know it that I hope this influence to be more than just our family; I hope it spreads, much that way the Church's Light the World initiative does. Our 'mission' will be year long, and will hopefully change lives in the same way. We invite anyone who would like to join to take note of the following things:

1.  You don't have to participate every month and in every activity.  Choose ones that speak to you. Remember, even one small thing can make a big difference.
2.  Use the hashtag #davidsmission to share this mission with others.
3.  Please share your ideas for themes and services that you see a need for in your area, so that we might prayerfully consider the best ideas for this coming year.
4.  Each month, a facebook event will be created that you can choose to participate in.
5.  Spread the news!  Please share this post on your social media accounts.  Invite others to follow our family and to spread Christ's love, for that is ultimately the reason behind David's mission.

It's Christmastime

When my kids ask me what my favorite holiday is, I teasing reply that it is not Christmas.  They are fully aware of the fact that I hate shopping.  Hate it.  One of the greatest inventions in the world is Amazon, where I can shop from the comfort of my home and have it delivered to my door.  I don't have to waste time going from store to store, finding the best deal, competing with other shoppers for the closest parking space or waiting in long checkout lines.  My time is precious to me and I would much rather spend it doing other things.  So, I will pay the few extra dollars instead of shopping sales and I will deal with the plethora of amazon boxes that must be recycled.  It saddens me that so much of Christmas is centered around the gifts.  I would much rather buy the clothes my kids need throughout the year instead of having to wait for a holiday to give it to them.  Then a gift given at Christmas could be simple and more meaningful, from the heart.  Maybe some day I can change that...

In truth, there is much I love about this time of year.  I love the excitement of decorating my home, of placing on the tree each ornament that has a unique memory.  I love, love, love the music of the season.  My private in-car or in-home, or in-shower, solo performances triple this time of year.  I love the time my family spends together doing Christmas puzzles or watching Christmas movies, singing around the tree or attending recitals, making treats or coloring or any number of things we dream up for that year.  I have to admit to my most favorite part of Christmas, though:  The feeling of love we have for our fellow man.  There is something about this time of year that draws our hearts to others.  With all the planning and prepping, there is always at the top of my list "Who needs to feel Christ's love this year?"

Each year, since our sons brief visit to earth before he returned to heaven, we have chosen a service to do at Christmastime to honor him.  It is the perfect way for our family to focus on serving those in need all while drawing us to our loved ones on the other side.  It reinforces our testimonies that, because of Christ, we are able to see our loved ones again someday.  It add extra depth to celebrating Christ's birth.  What better way to honor His birth than to do work in His name? 

In recent years, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints has implemented a program that leads others to do just this.  The Light the world campaign gives us the opportunity to serve in the way we choose, by giving ideas of needs in the world.  This year each week has a theme, with the first week being Light The World where you can reach out and serve those across the globe.  Next week is Light Your Community, where we can find ways closer to home to serve.  And then it gets even closer, as the third week we find ways to Light Our Family, with the final week being one of Lighting your Faith.  Do you feel drawn to Light the World ?

Even with all the worldly things that surround this holiday, there is much of it that can point back to the Savior and His ministry.  In my perfect world, the season would be filled with service and filled with love.  In my small way I try to do my part to #lighttheworld, and pray that He will fill all our hearts with an extra measure of love this season.

I want to share one more thing.  I have something exciting that I will be starting next year, a way in which I will honor our son David all year long.  And I want you all to be a part of it.  Look for a post coming soon that will introduce my ideas. 💓

David's first ornament 

Given with Love from Aunt Cortney and Uncle Steve