But for some, tragedy happens suddenly. You visit the doctor only to learn of a disease you didn't know you had. Life changes. You receive the call you never want to receive, that your spouse has died. Life changes. You child announces a secret to you that you never saw coming. Life. Changes. No matter how it happens, gradually or suddenly, we all will be faced with some major event that will cause us to reflect and ask, "What now...?"
So what about the "what ifs?" What would you do today, knowing something was going to change soon?
As I was growing up, it seemed rare that you would hear of a tragedy in your inner circle of acquaintances. Some one's mom got Cancer, but that was it for their family for a very long time. Some one's child broke the law. Again, that was their big life trial. But now.... The world has changed. No one is immune from extremely difficult things, things that test their faith to the limits, things that are leading us to God or breaking us.
My parents have 6 children. The past few months have looked like this for us: One sister has had a cancer scare and has had a hysterectomy because of it. (Blessedly, no cancer found). One sister's husband found a tumor on his face and went through a delicate surgery to have it removed, again with concerns of cancer. (Again, no cancer found). One brother is struggling to keep his family afloat as he works countless house through the night on projects that are due. One sister found out in the middle of her pregnancy that the unborn baby has heart problems and would need surgery to repair the heart a few months after she was born. Not two weeks after delivering this angel, the baby caught a cold and ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks, with the possibility of her heart failing sooner. My other sister lives out of state and is filled with sorrow that she can't be here to help her siblings in so much need. And that is just my side of the family. We can't forget to mention my husbands mother passing away this summer, a brother-in-law fighting bone cancer, etc.
And me. Where am I?
It has been a year and a half since I last posted. And my struggles are still here. I discovered in the spring that I have celiac disease. Finally an answer where none could be found before. My body was exhibiting signs of malnourishment, hence the extreme fatigue and muscle weakness. As I changed my lifestyle and my body began to heal, I had great hope of my life gaining back much of what I had been losing. I even was able to start exercising some, and not having to take naps every day. Hope returning. But then, 4 months into my recovery, by body crashed again. Many of the symptoms have returned and new ones have surfaced. I am back to the same unknown, back to tests and more test, and results that are coming back as "normal". I am currently awaiting more tests from a lumbar puncture done 2 weeks ago. And so, I wait. And I wonder. And I ponder, "What will I do differently now, if my life is about to change dramatically?"
