Today is the day. My appointment with the doctor is this morning. What will it bring, I wonder? Will I find the answers I need? At this point, I am ready for whatever it is I must deal with. I just need answers so I can move forward.
As I studied and pondered the words of the Lord this morning, I am armed with hope. A great truth of eternity is that God Loves me. He loves ME, with all His heart, might, mind, and strength. And because He loves me so completely, He will not leave me to do this alone.
"No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, [God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never will. He cannot do it. It is not His character [to do so]... He will [always] stand by us. We may pass through the fiery furnace; we may pass through deep waters; but we shall not be consumed nor overwhelmed. We shall emerge from all these trials and difficulties the better and purer for them. " ~George Q. Cannon
I am grateful that the Lord loves me so completely that He wants me to be pure enough to see Him again some day. And because of that love I will Keep loving, I will keep trying, I will keep trusting, I will keep believing, and I will keep growing. Heaven is cheering me on; how can I let them down? (inspiration taken from Elder Jeffery R. Holland)
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Angel's Landing
Angel's Landing Hike! Wow!
Knowing that my health might limit me in the future, I wanted one thing to be a representative of the journey before me. As a family, I wanted to tackle something difficult and come off triumphant. This amazing, difficult, scary hike is what I chose.
Zion National Park is an incredibly beautiful park, nestled in the canyons of southwestern Utah. I spent many vacations in my youth hiking through this beautiful vista. Angel's landing in one such hike that my parents took us on. This is a 5 Mile round trip hike with many switchbacks, steep ascents, and sheer drop offs. But it is an incredible view once you reach the top, the place where angels land.
As I hiked I couldn't help but see the whole experience as a metaphor for the life I was experiencing.
What started off as a gentle walk along the riverside, quickly became a steady climb. Life is like that.... it's not meant to be easy and calm, it's meant to challenge us. This steady climb turns to tiring switchbacks, back and forth and you ascend to a greater height. Many breaks were needed to catch our breath. We could see the goal in mind, we just needed reprieve as we worked our way there at the best pace we could give. Just like this journey of mine... I can only give so much. I need to rest when I feel the need, regain peace and reprieve to tackle the next leg of the journey.
After these difficult switchbacks comes this amazingly calm canyon. It is about 10 degrees cooler and is a gentle climb once again. I feel that the Lord blesses our lives with periods of calm just like this one. He knows what we can handle and how hard to push us before we have this time of rest. My children wanted to stop and play here, wanting to end the hike. While it's okay to spend some time in this calm, it's not where we should stop. We have greater things ahead. We have received the rest we needed for the truly difficult task ahead. Walter's Wiggles. (yes, that is really what they call the next leg of the hike. :-) )
If we thought the switchbacks earlier were hard, these are something else. We could only go one or two switchbacks before having to rest and catch our breath. There was another group in the same boat as us and we were there to encourage each other along the way. I know that in my health journey I will also have the same experience; others will be on this path with me. We can give strength and help where needed. It was because of this, seeing that someone else was strong when I was weak, and visa versa, that I was able to continue this ascent.
When this difficult part is complete, you reach Scout's lookout, a place of rest. For some, this is the journey's end. It is a beautiful sight, with vista's on either side looking over the canyon. There is plenty of area to rest, to eat lunch, and to look back on the journey it took to get here. It is here that the question must be asked: "Am I going to stop? Is this good enough for me?" This was not the end I had in mind when I started this journey. While there would be no shame in finishing now, and some of my children wanted to, I knew there were greater things ahead. We must persevere.
The final ascent it a tedious, slow one. You are literally scaling rocks, sometimes on your hands and knees, with only a chain to hold to. Many places are one way paths where you have to take turns with those coming back down. As a youth I was not scared at all. Now, if I allowed it, I was filled with fear. I knew my strength and skill level had changed and I was afraid I might fail. This is what I learned from this leg of the hike:
Other's have gone before and are there to encourage and help. Their praise of our 8 year old is what kept him going through his tears. As we passed an especially difficult part, strangers hands reached out to assist. Those strangers became saviors in a time of need. Hands reached down to lift up, others were behind to hoist upward. We were all there to assist and give strength as needed. At times my children would comment about the newfound fear of heights they had just acquired. As much for them as for me I taught them to focus on the path. Don't get distracted by the fear that might surround us. Focus on what makes it easier and continue to climb. And, as a family, we did it! We reached the summit. And it was incredible! Beauty and peace beyond compare. Unlike Scout's lookout, there are few places to rest here. Only a small number are allowed to enjoy this beauty. Only those who knew there were greater things ahead and were not afraid to traverse the extremely difficult terrain to gain this blessing.
My oldest daughter is not a hiker. She does not enjoy it and has a slight fear of heights. I was worried that I would not be able to get her to join us for this. I decided to be honest with her. I told her my health concerns, letting her know this is my last hoorah before my life might change. I asked her to do this for me. How proud I am that she looked outside herself and chose to come. In fact, she was the only one who did not complain one bit. She even enjoyed to most difficult part, the scaling of the rocks, saying it was her favorite part.
How often to we look back and see that the most difficult things in life end up being the things that bring us the greatest joy, the greatest happiness, because it is true happiness gained through the blessings of a Loving God? I will not give up, no matter how hard the journey ahead will be. I know it will bring me to my knees often. I choose to succeed. I choose the beauty of the end goal, a place where Angel's land. I choose to see the goodness of God in all of this.
Knowing that my health might limit me in the future, I wanted one thing to be a representative of the journey before me. As a family, I wanted to tackle something difficult and come off triumphant. This amazing, difficult, scary hike is what I chose.
Zion National Park is an incredibly beautiful park, nestled in the canyons of southwestern Utah. I spent many vacations in my youth hiking through this beautiful vista. Angel's landing in one such hike that my parents took us on. This is a 5 Mile round trip hike with many switchbacks, steep ascents, and sheer drop offs. But it is an incredible view once you reach the top, the place where angels land.
As I hiked I couldn't help but see the whole experience as a metaphor for the life I was experiencing.
What started off as a gentle walk along the riverside, quickly became a steady climb. Life is like that.... it's not meant to be easy and calm, it's meant to challenge us. This steady climb turns to tiring switchbacks, back and forth and you ascend to a greater height. Many breaks were needed to catch our breath. We could see the goal in mind, we just needed reprieve as we worked our way there at the best pace we could give. Just like this journey of mine... I can only give so much. I need to rest when I feel the need, regain peace and reprieve to tackle the next leg of the journey.
After these difficult switchbacks comes this amazingly calm canyon. It is about 10 degrees cooler and is a gentle climb once again. I feel that the Lord blesses our lives with periods of calm just like this one. He knows what we can handle and how hard to push us before we have this time of rest. My children wanted to stop and play here, wanting to end the hike. While it's okay to spend some time in this calm, it's not where we should stop. We have greater things ahead. We have received the rest we needed for the truly difficult task ahead. Walter's Wiggles. (yes, that is really what they call the next leg of the hike. :-) )
If we thought the switchbacks earlier were hard, these are something else. We could only go one or two switchbacks before having to rest and catch our breath. There was another group in the same boat as us and we were there to encourage each other along the way. I know that in my health journey I will also have the same experience; others will be on this path with me. We can give strength and help where needed. It was because of this, seeing that someone else was strong when I was weak, and visa versa, that I was able to continue this ascent.
When this difficult part is complete, you reach Scout's lookout, a place of rest. For some, this is the journey's end. It is a beautiful sight, with vista's on either side looking over the canyon. There is plenty of area to rest, to eat lunch, and to look back on the journey it took to get here. It is here that the question must be asked: "Am I going to stop? Is this good enough for me?" This was not the end I had in mind when I started this journey. While there would be no shame in finishing now, and some of my children wanted to, I knew there were greater things ahead. We must persevere.
The final ascent it a tedious, slow one. You are literally scaling rocks, sometimes on your hands and knees, with only a chain to hold to. Many places are one way paths where you have to take turns with those coming back down. As a youth I was not scared at all. Now, if I allowed it, I was filled with fear. I knew my strength and skill level had changed and I was afraid I might fail. This is what I learned from this leg of the hike:
Other's have gone before and are there to encourage and help. Their praise of our 8 year old is what kept him going through his tears. As we passed an especially difficult part, strangers hands reached out to assist. Those strangers became saviors in a time of need. Hands reached down to lift up, others were behind to hoist upward. We were all there to assist and give strength as needed. At times my children would comment about the newfound fear of heights they had just acquired. As much for them as for me I taught them to focus on the path. Don't get distracted by the fear that might surround us. Focus on what makes it easier and continue to climb. And, as a family, we did it! We reached the summit. And it was incredible! Beauty and peace beyond compare. Unlike Scout's lookout, there are few places to rest here. Only a small number are allowed to enjoy this beauty. Only those who knew there were greater things ahead and were not afraid to traverse the extremely difficult terrain to gain this blessing.
My oldest daughter is not a hiker. She does not enjoy it and has a slight fear of heights. I was worried that I would not be able to get her to join us for this. I decided to be honest with her. I told her my health concerns, letting her know this is my last hoorah before my life might change. I asked her to do this for me. How proud I am that she looked outside herself and chose to come. In fact, she was the only one who did not complain one bit. She even enjoyed to most difficult part, the scaling of the rocks, saying it was her favorite part.
How often to we look back and see that the most difficult things in life end up being the things that bring us the greatest joy, the greatest happiness, because it is true happiness gained through the blessings of a Loving God? I will not give up, no matter how hard the journey ahead will be. I know it will bring me to my knees often. I choose to succeed. I choose the beauty of the end goal, a place where Angel's land. I choose to see the goodness of God in all of this.
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