Normal?

I have waited 3 months to get in to see the pulminologist.  I often wonder, had I been able to get in right away when my lungs were giving me the most trouble, if the diagnosis would have been different.  As of now, my lungs sound normal.  Really?  They don't feel normal.  They burn when I take deep breaths, they struggle when I try to exercise.

I have told my friend that on my deathbed the doctors will still not be able to find out what is wrong with me.  My headstone will read:  All the tests came back normal.

In fairness to the Pulminologist, she is trying to be very thorough.  She didn't just look me over and send me on my way.  More tests have been ordered (yippee?), one such test being an ultrasound on my heart.  Could it be my heart that is causing all this anguish?  At this point I expect it to come back normal like everything else.

What they don't understand it this is not normal FOR ME.  The tests may say that, but it is not my normal.  I understand that doctors are human, that they don't have all the answers.  I am just not sure where else to go.  And so I continue forth, with a prayer in my heart that soon I will understand this journey I have been asked to travel.

Nevertheless, I went forth....

It has been a while since my appointment with my family doctor.  He listened to my concerns, but gave no answers.  He ordered a full panel of blood tests to see if that showed anything.  He also ordered an EKG and the wearing of a heart monitor for 24 hours to see if they could discover why I was getting heart palpitations.  The Answers: Nothing.  Everything is in the normal range.  According to the tests thus far there is no indication of anything being wrong with me.

At this I could choose to be frustrated.  But I realized something.  I have been praying for answers and these are answers.  They are answers for things that I do not have.  I don't have Rheumatoid Arthritis.  I don't have heart disease.  I don't have cancer showing up.  My thyroid is working as it should with the medicine I take.  So where do I go from here?

Today I am getting pulminary function tests done to see how my lungs are working.  And on Wednesday, after a 3 month wait, I finally get to see the pulminologist.  So I go forth, not knowing where this next step will lead, but trusting that eventually I will get answers somewhere.