November - Serve Your Neighbors #davidsmission

A little over 15 years ago we had sold the home we built and were looking for a new home in Northern Utah County. We did so with many  prayers in our hearts: Help us find a home that's comfortably within our budget; help us find a place where our kids can grow up with good friends; a place close to my husbands work; a place with friends for us, the adults; a place where we would find great happiness. Looking back on 15+ years in this home, I'm overcome with how abundantly these prayers have been answered.

One of the greatest blessings has been the opportunity to be surrounded with extraordinary neighbors and friends. I've heard it shared many times, from new move-ins to visitors: there is something unique and beautiful about the people in this area. It is almost palpable, when you open your heart to see it, the feeling of unity and love in this corner of our little world.  This is not just a select small group of individuals; it really is a majority of the area.

This is why my heart swells this month as our family approaches our service theme: Serve your Neighbors. We want to introduce you to  an idea with a little talisman that will help us remember to move this service around.

Meet our Kindness Trains. In the next week these trains will be visiting some of our neighbors as we perform a secret act of service on their behalf. Once done, we will leave the train with a card of instructions attached, directing how the neighbors can jump aboard the train and move the kindness along. We encourage anyone who get visited to snap a picture of the service given to you and either post on social media with the hashtag #davidsmission or email me at marissa@allens.net.

I would love to see the Kindness Trains move throughout the state and continue into the new year. Or, start your own movement out of state. I found these wooden trains at Hobby Lobby and gave them a coat of paint. I will include a copy of the card you can save and attach. 

Hope you all jump on the Kindness train and Spread kindness throughout your neighborhood. Can't wait to see what service ideas you come up with. 💕

List of service ideas:

~Make them dinner or a freezer meal
~Clean part of their house
~Do some of their yard work
~Take garbage to roadside and return after they are empty
~Take them baked goods
~Visit someone lonely
~Drive Carpool for a week
~Babysit for them, for free
~Wash car windows
~Send someone flowers
~Send a care package
~Gift card to go out to eat
~Anonymous thank you note
~Take someone to lunch
~Holiday treat bags

October - Serve the Missionaries #davidsmission

When we become baptized members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we make covenants to take upon ourselves the name of Christ.  Each Sunday thereafter we partake of a sacrament, renewing that covenant, and promising that we will always remember Him and always have His name with us.  One way that members of the Church can do that is by becoming missionaries, to go out into the world and testify of Christ. Our youth, ages 18 or 19, can be called on Missions where they set aside their worldly ambitions and give 18 months to 2 years of their lives to serve the Lord, testifying of Christ, and preaching the gospel that He taught when He lived on this earth.  It is these young men and women that we want to honor this month.

Even though it is a sacrifice to be away from family and friends for 2 years of their lives, I know that they do so willingly because of their great love for their Savior, for all the blessings that He has brought into their lives.  As members of the church we strive to help them in their efforts by telling our friends and neighbors all the goodness that Christ has brought into our lives. 

This month we will be 'adopting' our missionaries from our neighborhood.  Currently our congregation has 9 young adults serving in the mission field, from California to Hong Kong and many places in between.  It is our goal to make care packages for each one, including treats and letters from home, honoring and thanking them for their service, hoping to help them feel we are supporting them from back home.  We would also like to include Books of Mormon with our testimonies in the front so that our belief in the Savior can spread around the globe. 

How would you like to help?  What ways can you think to honor a missionary this month?

Another Part of the Story

Many people, my daughter included, have asked me when I intend on writing the rest of her story.  That's a tricky question.  Let me explain why.

This past week said daughter sent me a poem she had written for her creative writing class; a beautiful poem about what she thought love was before, and what she grew to learn it truly was. As I read I was not expecting the emotional response my body would have.  All those past feelings from the time of her struggles, all the heartache a parent has when their child suffers, all the anxiety that overcame my being at that time, it all returned in a few short sentences.  The immediate threat was no longer present, but that did not mean my body knew how to respond differently.

I have was is called emotional PTSD.  It is very real.  While I am doing a lot of thought work, redirecting and reframing emotions, that takes time and practice.  I did that this week, reworking my emotions and working through my thoughts after I finished the poem.  These are the reasons I am not ready to publish the rest of her story, yet.  I have more emotional work to do before I am ready to readdress that time in my life again.

So, thank you for your patience.  I know some of you want to hear her story so that you can get answers for the struggles you are currently working through with your own children.  In a way, I guess I just gave you another very real piece of the story.  Sometimes that ugliness continues even when everyone is in a much more joyous, balanced place. And that's just reality.


Her Poem:

I thought love was beautiful.

I thought it was messy and chaotic

But somehow, still beautiful.

I thought love was a goodnight kiss

And a wink that left you with a feeling

Of hope for the good morning smile.

I thought love was playful.

I thought love was colors

And laughter that grew like

Vines into beautiful flowers that

Bloomed into spasmodically-

Colored petals and sweet aromas.

I thought love was strong.

I thought love was two against

Everything else and nothing

Else mattered and no one else

Could intrude and protection went both ways.

I thought love was strong.

I didn’t think love would hurt.

I didn’t think love would leave me

Feeling like I did something wrong

Or like I wasn’t doing enough or

Like I wasn’t worthy of trust or that

I had been alone for so long because I could say no.

I didn’t think love was a tempest.

I didn’t think love would leave me

Bruised and bleeding on the shower floor

Because there was no one else to hurt

Except for myself because no matter what

I said he wouldn’t believe me when I told the truth.

I didn’t think love was supposed to turn its back on you.

I didn’t think love was that feeling where you

Can’t stop crying and must stop breathing

Because the breath drowns you in salt

And vinegar and bitter farewells.

I didn’t think love was supposed to hurt so much.

So I left.

And love became beautiful again.

Love became everything I had hoped

And everything I thought it was meant to be

And we laugh and we cry and we drive

Each other nuts but our love is beautiful

Just like love should be.

I thought love was supposed to be beautiful

Because it is. Our love grows flowers

That blossom in starlight because love

Shines bright in the dark and holds you

When your world is caving in around you

And the only thing holding you together is love.

And that’s when I realized that love is a sunset.

Love is a sun that sets on the heartache

And rises into something worth keeping

And working on until it is polished brighter

Than the diamond on my finger.

This is love, and it is beautiful.

September - Serve the Ailing, Serve the Struggling #davidsmission

As I sat down and planned our service themes for this year I didn't realize that this was childhood cancer awareness month. When three of my dear friends posted on social media, bringing this awareness to my mind, I was awed by the inspiration I had received to choose the theme I did for this month: Serve the Ailing/Serve the Struggling.

Although it has been a few years or more since my friends' children or loved ones have battled cancer, I still think often about what a difficult thing it would be to watch your child fight this disease.  I also think of all the support they had to have received to get through such a fight; support that gave them strength to endure watching one more treatment, take part in one more sleepless night, clean up one more bout of throw-up.  No parent should ever have to do something like this alone.

I have always loved the thought that we become the angels God needs on earth, to administer the help He would give it He were here.  We are needed by those who are afflicted, by those who are barely keeping their heads above water, by those who are silently suffering from mental anguish. Even those small acts that seem like mere drops in an empty bucket can relieve the thirst of a parched soul. 

Our family has chosen to keep this service close to home.  There are many in our church family who need relief in one way or another.  We will fast and pray for them; we will bring treats and a visit; we will babysit children so they can have a much needed night out; we will visit the lonely; we will be friends.

What will you do this month to become an angel?

August - Serve the Children #davidsmission

One of my favorite parts of the Book of Mormon is found in 3 Nephi when Christ is visiting the American continents.  After having spent time with the people, allowing them personal witnesses of Him, teaching them His gospel, and administering to the sick, He stands and commands the little children to be brought to Him.  He surrounds Himself by these little ones and offers a prayer so magnificent and sacred that words could not even be written to equal the power of it.  Filled with emotion, He takes the children one by one and blesses them and prays for them, weeping as He does so.  As He finishes and directs the multitude to "Behold your little ones," they behold the heavens open and angels descend and minister to these children.  In what ways are you striving to "Behold His little one"?

I love spending time with my nieces and nephews.  While visiting my brother in another state earlier this year, I sat outside with my nephew as he excitedly searched for bugs to show me.  While I'm not a fan of spiders I loved watching his excitement as he cupped them in his hand and gentle brought them to show me his treasure.  I loved the bubbling energy as I went later that night to catch little frogs with the family and see how proud they were when they accomplished the difficult task and then gently releasing them back into the pond.

I've enjoyed being the "relief society mom" for a new mother, as I cradle her fussy baby and allow the mother to enjoy an hour break to feel of God's spirit.

I've enjoyed taking my kids friends into our home, feeding them dinner, including them in family prayer and scripture study, making them a part of our family by loving them for who they are.

In my small way, I feel that I am trying my best to "Behold" His little ones as He beholds them, to love them in the way He would love them.

I often think of the tender love the Savior has for children.  He knows of their importance. He knows them individually and ministers to them individually, just as He does for His adult children.  I believe He has an even more tender place in His heart for children, so recently descended from heaven, experiencing so many new things.  I hear Him in my mind, cheering them on, encouraging them to find joy in this journey, despite the hard life ahead.

With these thoughts, I get excited about the service theme this month: Serve the Children.  I was so blessed to have an amazing childhood, and I know by kids are blessed with even more than I was.  But there are many, many children, even in our own neighborhoods, that stand in need of more.  More love, more acceptance, more money, more time with caring individuals, more basic needs met. More of more.   There are so many "mores" that it was difficult for me to narrow down the services that I want to provide.

Ways that you can help:
~Recently at our family reunion we started the first part of a service for children.  There is an organization that makes character wigs for children who have lost their hair due to cancer or other illnesses.  Our family decorated the envelopes that will hold the cards that go along with these wigs as they are given away.  We will be doing a second round of this service. www.themagicyarnproject.com

~I wanted to do a drive to collect school item for children in need as they head back to school, and was excited to see that a young man in our ward is doing this for his eagle project.  Our family will be contributing to this worthwhile project.  Donations are needed by Aug 13. contact me if you want to contribute.

~We have children in our neighborhood taking part in a summer reading bingo where they receive treats for certain bingos, with a party at the end of the summer if they get a blackout.

~I have a special surprise that I am working on as well, that I will reveal at the end of the month. :)

Other Ideas:
~Hold a bike wash for neighborhood kids
~Serve a meal at the Ronald McDonald house
~Children's book collection for library/WIC/classrooms
~Play date with special needs children
~Pack Lunches for homeless children
~Check out the app JustServe.  There are many, many ideas of serving children listed there.

July - Serve Your Ancestors #davidsmission

Does it feel like we missed June?  Well, in a way, I was still continuing the service from May: Serve yourself.  Even when there are grand things I want to pursue, good things I want to accomplish, I have learned the essential need to take care of myself and allow myself to heal when that healing is needed.  At times, that means other well-meaning things have to take the backseat position and wait patiently for me to be in a place where I can invite them back to the front. 

June was Serve the Community.  I originally had lavish plans of orchestrating a big event, such as a Special Olympic or a large scale community clean up.  Instead, I reminded myself that the service doesn't have to be grand to reach the individual.   The week after school got out we sat on the corner with a cooler and a sign: "Welcome Summer!  Free Popsicles!"  A handful of grateful customers stopped by to kick off their summer with a sweet, sugary treat. 

The end of the month found us around the city, writing words of encouragement on sidewalks.  Service doesn't have to reach the masses.  This month was a good reminder to reach out to the one.  If only one person got a free popsicle, if only one person read a message that made them smile, then that was more than enough. 

As I still seek healing in my life, I look towards the service I chose for this month: Serve your Ancestors.  To some, this may seem like a strange theme to choose for a service.  Let me explain as best I can. Without touching on that which is too sacred to me, I want to testify of the tremendous help and guidance I have often felt from those loved ones who have passed on.  They are in my life still.  They are aware of me and often help where they can to strengthen me through trials and help me feel of God's love.  I feel blessed to have the conviction that we are connected eternally, that I will see these loved ones again someday. 

I have a duty to them. As they are helping me from the other side I have the responsibility to help them how I can, here in the flesh, to do things they cannot do. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we feel it is our opportunity to take the joy of the gospel we have found and offer that to others, including those who have passed on.  We do this by being baptized vicariously for our ancestors in temples throughout the word, and by making further covenants for them in these temples.  They then have the opportunity to accept or reject the gospel message in heaven, an opportunity they may not have had while on earth.  But if we don't do the work to make those covenants for them, they will miss those opportunities of joy that are offered. 

I can not think of a better service to give my ancestors than to offer them the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

This month I will be spending time in the temple, making covenants in behalf of my ancestors.  I will be taking time to write their stories in family search and adding pictures.  I may even share on social media some ways my ancestors have influenced my life. We will end the month with a family reunion to celebrate the legacy left by my grandparents. 

I invite you to join me.  For the endowed members of the Church of Jesus Christ I invite you to do at least one ordinance in the temple for an ancestor.  (I'd love to see your pictures in front of the temple that day. 💖 ) I invite you to share a story, a picture, a joke your grandpa used to tell.  Help us honor our ancestors.

My Grandpa and Grandma Barker on their wedding day, with their parents, some siblings,

 and friends

May - Taking Care of You #davidsmission

Life rarely takes us on the path of least resistance. In fact, life is often filled with black diamond courses, difficult level hiking, and plummets made not for the faint of heart. Facing these daunting odds may make one feel inadequate for the tasks ahead.  How will I ever make it though to the other side of this ravine? How can I keep moving forward without changing the way I proceed?

I recently read an article in the April 2019 Ensign addressing sister Cecily Smith's struggle with depression.  I loved the section where she lays forth how she changes the way she proceeded forward with simplicity during those difficult times.  "I've learned to slow down my pace and.. care for myself so I can take care of my family.  I've sometimes had to miss important events, but the more I take care of myself, the quicker I recover." Quoting Elder Uchtdorf, she adds: "When stress levels rise, when distress appears, when tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up the same frantic pace... There is beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity."

This month of service must needs be different for our family.  While traveling back from St. George recently, I was re-listening to general conference.  Sister Eubanks talk struck me when she said: "Part of this life in knowing what NOT to do." While there are many, many good things you can choose to do in life, there are times when you need to choose not to do them.  There are times when life needs to be simplified, the horses corralled and cared for, the spirit recharged and refreshed. That is this month for us.

What needs do you have?  What ways do you need to do things differently this month to take care of you first?  Never forget that giving service to yourself is no less important than giving service to others.